Pig Out Day...

Yeah I admit it.  Had a pig out day today, but you know I'm okay with it.  Sometimes you just gotta indulge. Back on track with a little give, keeping motivated

Just not too many pig out days....there is only so much the gym can do

Working Out All Over Again

I admit it...I fell off the wagon with working out and eating right....

So I'm hitting the grind!!!

Two session with Radames down one more to go and might look into keeping the trainer stuff going.

Definitely feel more motivated and determined!

Even got a motivation jar to keep me going!

Check out my Jewelry Biz Blog at www.DulcePerlaJewels.wordpress.com

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Blog 

Much Love!!!!

Over Caffeinated Scorpio!

Stay Caffeinated Folks

Sometimes......

Sometimes
Even the whys and the hows
Don't take away the sadness
Can't make it better
Sometimes
No matter the reasons
The hole is still
And will be there
Sometimes
The best thing
Is not the wanted thing
Knowing isn't the answer
Sometimes
Sometimes the tears fall against our will
No one there to dry them
To ease the pain
Sometimes
There is no reason
No explanation
No anything
Sometimes
The only thing
Is loss
Sometimes
You just have to
Let the hurt be
And Pray
Sometimes
All you can do is Pray
So for you I'll pray


RIP Jason....

Still Makes me Chuckle

Al Michaels..."Thats the loudest manure chant..." Died!!!!

Circles of want

Lately my mind has been going around and around in circles.  All the things I want to share, say, do and act on.  But don't.  I've pulled myself back, held my real feelings in as close to me as I could.  Sure sometimes they still slip out but if they were really out... I live with my heart open, granted its not open for all but when I let you in I let you all the way in.  But the fear of being hurt never left.  In a perfect world I would stand on the roof and shout out how much I care...but in this world?

A girl just wants to feel wanted, to be wooed.  No, I don't want you to fall on your knees and beg me to be with you but let me know I'm wanted, give me more than a "hmm" or a "yea cool".  Just once I want to hear "Hey do you wanna come by" or hell even be the one to say "thinking about you"  Okay okay okay...read the signs obviously if the persons texting, emailing, calling etc etc then you're on the brain but is it too much to want to HEAR it sometimes?

Single life is cool and all, but I truly miss having that person to hold me when I was just feeling like crap...to be there and pick me up, to make me feel like a Queen.  I can empower myself all damn day but the feeling of it coming from another is one of a kind.

Just some of lifes intrigues I suppose


Stay caffeinated loves.

Yummness

Shrimp Rangoon

Added by The Church Cook (Kay Heritage) on May 17, 2011 in Appetizers

Prep Time 45 Minutes Cook Time 15 Minutes

Servings 25

Difficulty Easy

Ingredients

• FOR THE RANGOON:
• 8 ounces, weight Cream Cheese, Softened
• 2 Tablespoons Cilantro, Chopped
• 2 Tablespoons Green Onions, Minced
• 2 teaspoons Fresh Ginger, Grated
• 1 teaspoon Sugar
• 2 teaspoons Fresh Lime Juice
• ½ teaspoons Salt
• ½ teaspoons Pepper
• 1 pound Shrimp, Par-cooked
• ½ cups Water Chestnut, Chopped
• 1 whole Egg White For Wash
• 50 pieces Wonton Wrappers
• 1 quart Oil, For Frying

Computer rant

I have no shame.  I'll admit it computers completely and fully stress me out.  I don't understand them so I'm often left at an impasse on what to do when they aren't functioning as normal.  Might be my OCD need to do everything right.  Nevertheless.....damn the computers!!  Can we go back to the lovely days of pen and paper PLEASE!

Writing through the pain

      So as you can tell, lately I've just been in a very poetic mood.  Needing to express the crazy whirlwind inside of me through words..sometimes organized and planned, but often written as they spilled from my soul.  I started really writing after my break up with Jimbo as a way to breathe through the pain, anger, hurt and confusion.  Sometimes when I find myself slipping down the dangerous slope of contacting him I grab a pen and write what I want to say.  Cutting off a part of your life cold turkey, no patch has been invented for heartbreak, is definitely a hard thing to do.  Hardest thing in life? Not by far, at the end of the day you're still alive and you have food.  But in the midst of the haze and fog surrounding it all it can feel like at any moment the cliffs of life are going to swallow you whole and take you away.

Silence is not always golden, especially when you're hurting.  But often after a breakup (particularly a bad one) you're embarrassed, and too betrayed to talk to anyone about everything going on inside your heart and mind...even more so because in those first few days; weeks; months; your heart and mind are usually saying two very different things.  For me, its been the random moments that pop up months later, moments that I don't want to admit to in the daylight...times I find myself wondering, missing, sometimes even needing.  But who can I tell that too without feeling judged?  

My advice, find a corner of solitude.  Somewhere you and all of your thoughts can be one together, grab some paper and a pen (or even your laptop) and let the feelings pour through you into the words on the screen or on the paper.

Never hold it in.  Holding it all in pushes you in so many bad places, mentally and emotionally.  Just write.

Write and Stay Caffeinated my loves.

Secrets of Night

You've been haunting my dreams again
Shadows of a promise
Of a dream
Showing me the things you took away
You haunt my nights
Creeping up in corners
Chasing me into a darkness
One I thought I had forgotten
You haunt me
Thought I was all cried out
Yet these tears seem to be falling 
Uncontrollably
Yet you still haunt me
Mockingly
Lovingly
Haunting the places I feel most safe
Reminding me
What I no longer posess
Can no longer hold onto
You haunt me 
When I close my eyes
Lately there you are
Like a monster under a childs bed
You haunt me..


8*28*2012

Phenomenal Woman--Maya Angelou

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them

They say they still can't see.

I say,

It's in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

the palm of my hand,

The need of my care,

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me. 

Maya Angelou

Is this How Norma Jeane Felt?

Marilyn Monroe: The Passion and the Paradox--by Lois Banner

Marilyn Monroe......An entertaining, but deeply confounding woman.  She was rooted in sex appeal and glamour but inside always had an extreme doubt of herself.  Feeling imperfect, and afraid of being abandoned.  She was scandal and beauty.  Hope and fear.  Loving and quick to pull away.

She used her body to get where she needed to be in life.  Let people think she was a dumb blonde if it suited the situation but inside was deeply spiritual and intellectual. After reading the book I wondered is that not what all women do in this era...?  Maybe not the sleeping with executives but..to a certain extent there's still an air of "men get the better hand" prevailing.  So as women we use our sex appeal, our curves, our flirtatious smiles to get a step ahead.  Allow people to place us in categories and give us labels so that later we can shatter what they think they know?

Often I've wondered if the past will always haunt me.  The things in my own life that I was not at an age to change will forever be a cloud hanging over my head.  Wondered at times about what will become of me, does your past automatically control your here and now.  Marilyn's did.  It seemed her life was steeped within her past.  She could never fully escape the fears laid upon her as a child...even something simple as becoming another "crazy, insane" member of her family....


Random undercaffeinated thoughts after finishing the book.....


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In continuing with my finding of my self.  I'm adding some poems not by me to the mix of this crazy blog world.  Inspired, feared, craved, nurtured...whatever strikes me at the time

Will try to include the author if available...apologies if I misspell something, a girl is only human.

Now as I drink my tea and fight off this impending cold I hope to bring you some deep personal thought time.  Even if those thoughts are just "Damn, I forgot to do laundry today" :)

Til then
Stay Caffeinated

Late Nights in VA

I lay here
Unable to sleep
Mind won't shut down
Thoughts
Spinning
Going going and going
Somebody hand me a drum
So many times to tell you
Whats on the brain
Stalled by fear of your rejection
I want you
No titles
No labels just
You and me
And I want you to want me
But I'm too scared to open up and tell you
Slowly building
Walls
Trenches
Moats
To guard myself from the hurt
Trying
Wishing the feelings had an off button
A force valve I could close
Wanting the unwanted
Or maybe I'm the unwanted
Unneeded
Fears creep in
Pushing me to the silence
To the deep dark corners
Where the doubts surround and cover me
Questioning whats and why's
When all I want is to tell you
I want you
Feel your arms pull me close
As you tell me
You want me too

Unfinished

Why must I always be defined
By those who dont look like me
Stop
Dont define me by the sounds pumping through my speakers
Nor by the hair hanging down my back
Or not hanging at all
Classify me as ethnic
Cause I rock my hair natural
Thug cause he plays his music loud
Classification
Definition
Labels
Stupid pitiful labels
Historically classifying
Even those you see daily
Forever putting them in boxes
sections

Hampton Ban Response 2

Oh Hampton....I was really hoping the dreadlock ban was a fake when I heard it last week but reading these articles from today....*Sigh*....

So Mr Credle...Your argument as you've presented it is that Charles Drew, Martin Luther King Jr, and Muhammad Ali didn't have dreadlocks so they aren't a professional look...You know what they also didn't have...A BLACK PRESIDENT! Do better its 2012 almost 2013...its hair!!!!  

Stop putting so much emphasis on hair!  Do you not realize you are the EDUCATOR that is suppose to be INSPIRING your students.  Not telling them they wont succeed if they don't look like the guy from VT who DOESN'T have dreads.  What world is this????  We have a Black President, Augusta let in not just a woman but a Black Woman....Can we just focus on changing the world...Stop letting cultural differences continue to segregate a society that really never got over it in the first place regardless of what some may think.  

We choose to look at things with such a negative energy that anything good that comes from it is taken away.  So you mean to say if someone approached this Dean Credle with the best idea in the United States and offered it exclusively to Hampton, he'd look at him in a certain light if they had dreadlocks...because its not professional??

I'm sorry but I've seen some VERY professional looking MEN AND WOMEN with dreadlocks

Hmm they all look pretty professional to me...and not a rapper or athlete in sight....

Do better 2012!!!!

Essence....

The essence of you

Thrills me

Creates this passionate

burning

desire 

warms my soul.

your essence turns

even the bluest of days

to one filled with sunshine

like the rainbow after the thunderstorm

its become a treasure

to me

to have you 

just be around

the energy i feel around you

that flows from within you

the things you do to me

without ever touching me

that exhilarate me

miles away 

but my body calls out for you

and oh...

when you answer the call

fireworks and lighting

thunder claps

words aren't enough

surely you know

but maybe you can't see

what all your essence

does to me

8/23/12

Felt so real...pt1?

In the dim of the night
As I lay asleep
I feel the heat of your body
Lying beside me
Warming me just so
The weight
Of your arm lays across my stomach
Anchoring me to this peace

The warmth from your lips
Tickles my neck
Muscles relaxed
Completely at ease
My body yearns for the touch
The warmth
For more
I roll over
You were just my imagination
Running away with me
Felt so real...
You've become a craving
A want of never ending desire
Passion
I lay down
Wishing you were here
Felt so real.....

Words of wonder

I WANT THAT LOVE

Lift your veil

So I may see your face

Part the clouds

So I may see the moon

Scatter your hair

So I may sense your fragrance

Part your lips

So I may kiss your breath

I want that love

That moved the mountains

I want that love

That split the ocean

I want that love

That made the winds tremble

I want that love

That roared like thunder

I want that love

That will raise the dead

I want that love

That lifts us to ecstasy

I want that love

That is the silence of eternity

~Rumi

What was in the water

Buffy the Vampire Slayer....I lived and breathed this show back in the day(LOL) and still love watching it.  Well directed, well acted(most of the time) and just an all around interesting show.....

So of course when I saw this article I had to check out the pictures:::

The Cast of Buffy Then & Now

Wow!!! What was in the water on the set??? To be off the air almost 10 years and the cast still look that amazing is kinda freaky....yeah sure there might be some plastic surgery floating out there somewhere but whatever!  They look awesome.  I mean come on Spike is 50!!!  

Random Buffy nerd moment of the day\

Stay Caffeinated

Challenge the Norm...Hampton Bans Dreads and Cornrows

Just saw this article link on facebook and of course with a title containing the words university, bans, and dreadlocks I had to go read it.
(Heres the Link)
http://www.thankgodimnatural.com/bhm-hampton-university-bans-business-majors-from-wearing-cornrows-and-dreadlocks/

One more musical dosage

Seriously my anthem!



Been from hell and back when the heat is on I FIRE BACK

What doesn't kill me can only make me stronger

Beautifully Tragic Love

So I'm kind of obsessing on Lana Del Rey...a little late to the scene, but I like discovering music at my own speed...not just cause its "hot".  So I bring you....Summertime Sadness, customer at work told me I absolutely had to watch this video...definitely interesting.



But even more so...check out her cd. "Born to Die"  she has a hauntingly beautiful voice and I love it.  If I had to pick a favorite track, it'd be either "This is What makes us girls" or "Video Games"

Well theres the music update for the night....

Stay Caffeinated Folks

My First PrePoo!!!!

I've been tinkering with delving into natural hair care products for a few weeks and finally decided to take a leap and try making the switch.

Continue with my delve into Naturalista Heaven after the jump!

Cava Mezze Grill 14th Street Review

So first...oh wow Cava has a restaurant!  *And upon google they have several*

Cava Mezze Grill, is a Chipotle/Roti style eatery, where you select what your eating and then pick the toppings, meat etc.  See the menu here:  MENU

So I stopped in on my way to the park to get some work done and just wanted a little bite sized something to take with me, so when I saw the minis on the board I was elated. And they didn't disappoint.  For each mini you get(in this case anyway) Your choice of spread, and 1 falafel ball per mini and your toppings!  Not a bad deal for around 8 bucks with a drink...roughly the same as Chipotle.

But of course theres a few draw backs....the minis don't travel quite well.  Still tasty but all the toppings(that were thrown in the box carelessly to start) had shifted mostly off to the side of the box.  But see the parenthesis for why that could have been.

Spreads:  I tried the hummus, tzatziki,  and crazy feta.  The tzatziki as always was delicious!  Its one of my favorite items of theirs to buy from the store and even more delicious on the pita mini.  Then we come to the "crazy feta"...YUM! feta mixed with jalapeno spiciness.  It was absolutely delicious, but I'd avoid if you don't like spicy things cause it does pack a bit of a punch.  And lastly I had the traditional hummus, sad to say it was a bit of a let down flavor wise.  Just seemed to be missing something-good but would really like it if i could mix it with perhaps the crazy feta.

Of course I'm definitely giving them another taste.  It was pretty good falafel...chickpeas a little chunkier than I prefer but the chicken looked amazing.

All in all, my meal was about 730 calories so a little heavier than a veggie bowl at Chipotle(yes that's my comparison chart) But wondering if its a "better" set of calories.  

Mission No Takeout

So here it is folks the official announcement of 'Mission NO TAKEOUT'  

My pledge to myself to stop filling my body with craptastic foods.  And be more aware of the yumminess that is my own cooking, and whats going into my cooking.  I'm on day 6...lifestyle movement so there probably isnt an end date to this.

But with any mission...There are some rules

1. Absolutely NO Mcdonalds....not even sweet tea-diabetes much?
2. NO Burger King / Wendy's
3. Once a week I get one "cheat" day...meaning chipotle, sushi, cava, roti...something along those lines
4. Limit fat sauces in home cooking

For now those are the only rules I've gotten....so far so good..had to take my cheat day today to get some work done, but as long as its along the lines of healthy takeout then I'll excuse it.  I mean if there's a salad delivery place with non 800 calorie salads please let me know and they'll be on the excused list asap!

For now though

Stay caffeinated folks!!!

Wondering Thoughts

As seasons change and relationships formed in the spring that bloomed in the summer begin to grow, I look back and wonder....what if...

Its funny I always say not to ask what if, the answer is clearly not better than the current situation cause well...if what if had been what was meant to be it would have been.  But still...what if...would I have this crazy confusing new old person...probably not and thats not a good outcome.  This happy...nope wasn't being motivated or pushed in a positive way.

So lesson one million and forty seven for 2012...don't look back

Move forward. break down doors, break down walls.

Hell break down the "structure".

So with that said...I'm breaking down some walls and takin some giant leaps....

Staying caffeinated daily and getting healthy for the 2nd half of life.  Wow 26 is almost upon me....where does time fly?

Cant sleep

Mind racing

Words forming

Love

Envy

Hope

Dreams

Cant sleep

Mind racing

Wonders never cease

Tears

Smiles

More tears

Cant sleep

Mind racing

Fluttering eyelids

Blink

Open

Repeat

Cant sleep

Mind racing

Need an off button

Breath

Droop

Breath

Cant sleep

Mind racing

Cant sleep

c…a…n…t……………………………*snore*

Dec 2011

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Ah Family Guy

Oh men...source of my amusement


A little late night funny.

Stay Caffeinated folks...maybe not right now but in general :):)

Pledge to Healthy

So I don't like the word diet...its got a lot of evil shadows floating over it.  Magic "diet" solutions run rampant through the drugstores but they don't really do anything...except stimulate your insides...and in most cases over stimulate.

So I'm not calling it a diet more a pledge to healthy.  I've kind of already been doing it but I'm giving myself an extra push by making it public.  So here's the big part!  NO TAKEOUT**!  Now I have to add in an * or two here.  I'm not including sushi in the takeout concept; one I don't have it often; two I love sushi.  Depriving yourself of everything delicious makes you cheat on your new lifestyle more than anything.

Morning Cup

Morning cup

Sweet cream swirls

In the dark depths

Caramel colored liquid

Bold

                        Strong

                                                Delicious

Just a touch of cinnamon

Sprinkled on top

White milky froth

Creamy

                        Smooth

                                                Devine

Chocolate drops

Mixed in

Smooth thick cocoa

Sweet

                        Hot

                                                Desired

Mix them all together

A bold flavor

With a hint of cream and cinnamon

Chocolate drops on top of it all

Sexual

                        Needed

                                                Dreamworthy

My favorite cup

Perfectly created just for me

Mmmm

Mmm

Mmmm

I think I’ll have another drink

December 2011

Mask

We talk

And laugh

Joke around

Avoid the elephant

floating in the room

Its not but it is

But its not but it could be

But it won't be

Questions 

With no answers

Experiments

Never tried

How the past

Shields us from

taking a leap again

Can it be more

Can it be less

Can it just be

With no definitions but

Explanations

Wanting to tell you

To just leap and yell

Shout let my heart sing

But instead I hide for fear

Rejection

Not what I want to feel 

So I embrace the shadows 

Of my emotions 

And wear a mask 

As we chill 

......................Wonder if you ever notice

Walked Into A Shop

I Walked into a shop....

I walked into a shop today

And asked them to take my scars

Bury them deep beneath

Layers of colors

Lines of ink

They sat me down

In the artists chair

And asked me simply

To breathe

They rubbed my scars

And Soothed my nerves

 Passed a tissue

And sketched

And reminded me simply

To breathe

The pattern was laid across

Covering over

The bad memories

The hard times

Those the scars represented

Needle to skin

Remember simply

To breathe

Needle to skin

Remember simply

To breathe

Breathe

Breathe

As the artist puts on

The finishing touches

Detailing each corner

Each line

I’m passed a tissue

Remember simply

To breathe

As I walk out the door

My scars no longer visible

Now I have a flower

To look upon in my darkest hour

And remember simply

To breathe

~~~~December 9th 2011