Wondering Thoughts

As seasons change and relationships formed in the spring that bloomed in the summer begin to grow, I look back and wonder....what if...

Its funny I always say not to ask what if, the answer is clearly not better than the current situation cause well...if what if had been what was meant to be it would have been.  But still...what if...would I have this crazy confusing new old person...probably not and thats not a good outcome.  This happy...nope wasn't being motivated or pushed in a positive way.

So lesson one million and forty seven for 2012...don't look back

Move forward. break down doors, break down walls.

Hell break down the "structure".

So with that said...I'm breaking down some walls and takin some giant leaps....

Staying caffeinated daily and getting healthy for the 2nd half of life.  Wow 26 is almost upon me....where does time fly?

Cant sleep

Mind racing

Words forming

Love

Envy

Hope

Dreams

Cant sleep

Mind racing

Wonders never cease

Tears

Smiles

More tears

Cant sleep

Mind racing

Fluttering eyelids

Blink

Open

Repeat

Cant sleep

Mind racing

Need an off button

Breath

Droop

Breath

Cant sleep

Mind racing

Cant sleep

c…a…n…t……………………………*snore*

Dec 2011

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Ah Family Guy

Oh men...source of my amusement


A little late night funny.

Stay Caffeinated folks...maybe not right now but in general :):)

Pledge to Healthy

So I don't like the word diet...its got a lot of evil shadows floating over it.  Magic "diet" solutions run rampant through the drugstores but they don't really do anything...except stimulate your insides...and in most cases over stimulate.

So I'm not calling it a diet more a pledge to healthy.  I've kind of already been doing it but I'm giving myself an extra push by making it public.  So here's the big part!  NO TAKEOUT**!  Now I have to add in an * or two here.  I'm not including sushi in the takeout concept; one I don't have it often; two I love sushi.  Depriving yourself of everything delicious makes you cheat on your new lifestyle more than anything.

Morning Cup

Morning cup

Sweet cream swirls

In the dark depths

Caramel colored liquid

Bold

                        Strong

                                                Delicious

Just a touch of cinnamon

Sprinkled on top

White milky froth

Creamy

                        Smooth

                                                Devine

Chocolate drops

Mixed in

Smooth thick cocoa

Sweet

                        Hot

                                                Desired

Mix them all together

A bold flavor

With a hint of cream and cinnamon

Chocolate drops on top of it all

Sexual

                        Needed

                                                Dreamworthy

My favorite cup

Perfectly created just for me

Mmmm

Mmm

Mmmm

I think I’ll have another drink

December 2011

Mask

We talk

And laugh

Joke around

Avoid the elephant

floating in the room

Its not but it is

But its not but it could be

But it won't be

Questions 

With no answers

Experiments

Never tried

How the past

Shields us from

taking a leap again

Can it be more

Can it be less

Can it just be

With no definitions but

Explanations

Wanting to tell you

To just leap and yell

Shout let my heart sing

But instead I hide for fear

Rejection

Not what I want to feel 

So I embrace the shadows 

Of my emotions 

And wear a mask 

As we chill 

......................Wonder if you ever notice

Walked Into A Shop

I Walked into a shop....

I walked into a shop today

And asked them to take my scars

Bury them deep beneath

Layers of colors

Lines of ink

They sat me down

In the artists chair

And asked me simply

To breathe

They rubbed my scars

And Soothed my nerves

 Passed a tissue

And sketched

And reminded me simply

To breathe

The pattern was laid across

Covering over

The bad memories

The hard times

Those the scars represented

Needle to skin

Remember simply

To breathe

Needle to skin

Remember simply

To breathe

Breathe

Breathe

As the artist puts on

The finishing touches

Detailing each corner

Each line

I’m passed a tissue

Remember simply

To breathe

As I walk out the door

My scars no longer visible

Now I have a flower

To look upon in my darkest hour

And remember simply

To breathe

~~~~December 9th 2011