Cultivate your curves; they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

- Miss Mae West -

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Pig Out Day...

Yeah I admit it.  Had a pig out day today, but you know I'm okay with it.  Sometimes you just gotta indulge. Back on track with a little give, keeping motivated

Just not too many pig out days....there is only so much the gym can do

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Working Out All Over Again

I admit it...I fell off the wagon with working out and eating right....

So I'm hitting the grind!!!

Two session with Radames down one more to go and might look into keeping the trainer stuff going.

Definitely feel more motivated and determined!

Even got a motivation jar to keep me going!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Check out my Jewelry Biz Blog at www.DulcePerlaJewels.wordpress.com


Follow it!!!  
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Much Love!!!!

Over Caffeinated Scorpio!

Stay Caffeinated Folks

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Sometimes......

Sometimes
Even the whys and the hows
Don't take away the sadness
Can't make it better
Sometimes
No matter the reasons
The hole is still
And will be there
Sometimes
The best thing
Is not the wanted thing
Knowing isn't the answer
Sometimes
Sometimes the tears fall against our will
No one there to dry them
To ease the pain
Sometimes
There is no reason
No explanation
No anything
Sometimes
The only thing
Is loss
Sometimes
You just have to
Let the hurt be
And Pray
Sometimes
All you can do is Pray
So for you I'll pray


RIP Jason....

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Monday, September 17, 2012

Circles of want

Lately my mind has been going around and around in circles.  All the things I want to share, say, do and act on.  But don't.  I've pulled myself back, held my real feelings in as close to me as I could.  Sure sometimes they still slip out but if they were really out... I live with my heart open, granted its not open for all but when I let you in I let you all the way in.  But the fear of being hurt never left.  In a perfect world I would stand on the roof and shout out how much I care...but in this world?

A girl just wants to feel wanted, to be wooed.  No, I don't want you to fall on your knees and beg me to be with you but let me know I'm wanted, give me more than a "hmm" or a "yea cool".  Just once I want to hear "Hey do you wanna come by" or hell even be the one to say "thinking about you"  Okay okay okay...read the signs obviously if the persons texting, emailing, calling etc etc then you're on the brain but is it too much to want to HEAR it sometimes?

Single life is cool and all, but I truly miss having that person to hold me when I was just feeling like crap...to be there and pick me up, to make me feel like a Queen.  I can empower myself all damn day but the feeling of it coming from another is one of a kind.

Just some of lifes intrigues I suppose


Stay caffeinated loves.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Yummness


Prep Time 
Cook Time 
Servings 25Difficulty Easy

Ingredients

  • FOR THE RANGOON:
  • 8 ounces, weight Cream Cheese, Softened
  • 2 Tablespoons Cilantro, Chopped
  • 2 Tablespoons Green Onions, Minced
  • 2 teaspoons Fresh Ginger, Grated
  • 1 teaspoon Sugar
  • 2 teaspoons Fresh Lime Juice
  • ½ teaspoons Salt
  • ½ teaspoons Pepper
  • 1 pound Shrimp, Par-cooked
  • ½ cups Water Chestnut, Chopped
  • 1 whole Egg White For Wash
  • 50 pieces Wonton Wrappers
  • 1 quart Oil, For Frying

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Computer rant

I have no shame.  I'll admit it computers completely and fully stress me out.  I don't understand them so I'm often left at an impasse on what to do when they aren't functioning as normal.  Might be my OCD need to do everything right.  Nevertheless.....damn the computers!!  Can we go back to the lovely days of pen and paper PLEASE!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Writing through the pain

      So as you can tell, lately I've just been in a very poetic mood.  Needing to express the crazy whirlwind inside of me through words..sometimes organized and planned, but often written as they spilled from my soul.  I started really writing after my break up with Jimbo as a way to breathe through the pain, anger, hurt and confusion.  Sometimes when I find myself slipping down the dangerous slope of contacting him I grab a pen and write what I want to say.  Cutting off a part of your life cold turkey, no patch has been invented for heartbreak, is definitely a hard thing to do.  Hardest thing in life? Not by far, at the end of the day you're still alive and you have food.  But in the midst of the haze and fog surrounding it all it can feel like at any moment the cliffs of life are going to swallow you whole and take you away.

Silence is not always golden, especially when you're hurting.  But often after a breakup (particularly a bad one) you're embarrassed, and too betrayed to talk to anyone about everything going on inside your heart and mind...even more so because in those first few days; weeks; months; your heart and mind are usually saying two very different things.  For me, its been the random moments that pop up months later, moments that I don't want to admit to in the daylight...times I find myself wondering, missing, sometimes even needing.  But who can I tell that too without feeling judged?  

My advice, find a corner of solitude.  Somewhere you and all of your thoughts can be one together, grab some paper and a pen (or even your laptop) and let the feelings pour through you into the words on the screen or on the paper.

Never hold it in.  Holding it all in pushes you in so many bad places, mentally and emotionally.  Just write.

Write and Stay Caffeinated my loves.

Secrets of Night

You've been haunting my dreams again
Shadows of a promise
Of a dream
Showing me the things you took away
You haunt my nights
Creeping up in corners
Chasing me into a darkness
One I thought I had forgotten
You haunt me
Thought I was all cried out
Yet these tears seem to be falling 
Uncontrollably
Yet you still haunt me
Mockingly
Lovingly
Haunting the places I feel most safe
Reminding me
What I no longer posess
Can no longer hold onto
You haunt me 
When I close my eyes
Lately there you are
Like a monster under a childs bed
You haunt me..


8*28*2012

Phenomenal Woman--Maya Angelou


Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me. 
Maya Angelou

Monday, August 27, 2012

Is this How Norma Jeane Felt?

Marilyn Monroe: The Passion and the Paradox--by Lois Banner

Marilyn Monroe......An entertaining, but deeply confounding woman.  She was rooted in sex appeal and glamour but inside always had an extreme doubt of herself.  Feeling imperfect, and afraid of being abandoned.  She was scandal and beauty.  Hope and fear.  Loving and quick to pull away.

She used her body to get where she needed to be in life.  Let people think she was a dumb blonde if it suited the situation but inside was deeply spiritual and intellectual. After reading the book I wondered is that not what all women do in this era...?  Maybe not the sleeping with executives but..to a certain extent there's still an air of "men get the better hand" prevailing.  So as women we use our sex appeal, our curves, our flirtatious smiles to get a step ahead.  Allow people to place us in categories and give us labels so that later we can shatter what they think they know?

Often I've wondered if the past will always haunt me.  The things in my own life that I was not at an age to change will forever be a cloud hanging over my head.  Wondered at times about what will become of me, does your past automatically control your here and now.  Marilyn's did.  It seemed her life was steeped within her past.  She could never fully escape the fears laid upon her as a child...even something simple as becoming another "crazy, insane" member of her family....


Random undercaffeinated thoughts after finishing the book.....


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In continuing with my finding of my self.  I'm adding some poems not by me to the mix of this crazy blog world.  Inspired, feared, craved, nurtured...whatever strikes me at the time

Will try to include the author if available...apologies if I misspell something, a girl is only human.

Now as I drink my tea and fight off this impending cold I hope to bring you some deep personal thought time.  Even if those thoughts are just "Damn, I forgot to do laundry today" :)

Til then
Stay Caffeinated

Late Nights in VA

I lay here
Unable to sleep
Mind won't shut down
Thoughts
Spinning
Going going and going
Somebody hand me a drum
So many times to tell you
Whats on the brain
Stalled by fear of your rejection
I want you
No titles
No labels just
You and me
And I want you to want me
But I'm too scared to open up and tell you
Slowly building
Walls
Trenches
Moats
To guard myself from the hurt
Trying
Wishing the feelings had an off button
A force valve I could close
Wanting the unwanted
Or maybe I'm the unwanted
Unneeded
Fears creep in
Pushing me to the silence
To the deep dark corners
Where the doubts surround and cover me
Questioning whats and why's
When all I want is to tell you
I want you
Feel your arms pull me close
As you tell me
You want me too

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Unfinished

Why must I always be defined
By those who dont look like me
Stop
Dont define me by the sounds pumping through my speakers
Nor by the hair hanging down my back
Or not hanging at all
Classify me as ethnic
Cause I rock my hair natural
Thug cause he plays his music loud
Classification
Definition
Labels
Stupid pitiful labels
Historically classifying
Even those you see daily
Forever putting them in boxes
sections

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Hampton Ban Response 2

Oh Hampton....I was really hoping the dreadlock ban was a fake when I heard it last week but reading these articles from today....*Sigh*....

So Mr Credle...Your argument as you've presented it is that Charles Drew, Martin Luther King Jr, and Muhammad Ali didn't have dreadlocks so they aren't a professional look...You know what they also didn't have...A BLACK PRESIDENT! Do better its 2012 almost 2013...its hair!!!!  

Stop putting so much emphasis on hair!  Do you not realize you are the EDUCATOR that is suppose to be INSPIRING your students.  Not telling them they wont succeed if they don't look like the guy from VT who DOESN'T have dreads.  What world is this????  We have a Black President, Augusta let in not just a woman but a Black Woman....Can we just focus on changing the world...Stop letting cultural differences continue to segregate a society that really never got over it in the first place regardless of what some may think.  

We choose to look at things with such a negative energy that anything good that comes from it is taken away.  So you mean to say if someone approached this Dean Credle with the best idea in the United States and offered it exclusively to Hampton, he'd look at him in a certain light if they had dreadlocks...because its not professional??

I'm sorry but I've seen some VERY professional looking MEN AND WOMEN with dreadlocks





Hmm they all look pretty professional to me...and not a rapper or athlete in sight....

Do better 2012!!!!




Essence....

The essence of you
Thrills me
Creates this passionate
burning
desire 
warms my soul.
your essence turns
even the bluest of days
to one filled with sunshine
like the rainbow after the thunderstorm
its become a treasure
to me
to have you 
just be around
the energy i feel around you
that flows from within you
the things you do to me
without ever touching me
that exhilarate me
miles away 
but my body calls out for you
and oh...
when you answer the call
fireworks and lighting
thunder claps
words aren't enough
surely you know
but maybe you can't see
what all your essence
does to me

8/23/12

Felt so real...pt1?


In the dim of the night
As I lay asleep
I feel the heat of your body
Lying beside me
Warming me just so
The weight
Of your arm lays across my stomach
Anchoring me to this peace
The warmth from your lips
Tickles my neck
Muscles relaxed
Completely at ease
My body yearns for the touch
The warmth
For more
I roll over
You were just my imagination
Running away with me
Felt so real...
You've become a craving
A want of never ending desire
Passion
I lay down
Wishing you were here
Felt so real.....

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Words of wonder


I WANT THAT LOVE



Lift your veil
So I may see your face
Part the clouds
So I may see the moon
Scatter your hair
So I may sense your fragrance
Part your lips
So I may kiss your breath
I want that love
That moved the mountains
I want that love
That split the ocean
I want that love
That made the winds tremble
I want that love
That roared like thunder
I want that love
That will raise the dead
I want that love
That lifts us to ecstasy
I want that love
That is the silence of eternity

~Rumi

Monday, August 20, 2012

What was in the water

Buffy the Vampire Slayer....I lived and breathed this show back in the day(LOL) and still love watching it.  Well directed, well acted(most of the time) and just an all around interesting show.....

So of course when I saw this article I had to check out the pictures:::

Wow!!! What was in the water on the set??? To be off the air almost 10 years and the cast still look that amazing is kinda freaky....yeah sure there might be some plastic surgery floating out there somewhere but whatever!  They look awesome.  I mean come on Spike is 50!!!  

Random Buffy nerd moment of the day\

Stay Caffeinated

Thursday, August 16, 2012

One more musical dosage

Seriously my anthem!



Been from hell and back when the heat is on I FIRE BACK

What doesn't kill me can only make me stronger


Beautifully Tragic Love

So I'm kind of obsessing on Lana Del Rey...a little late to the scene, but I like discovering music at my own speed...not just cause its "hot".  So I bring you....Summertime Sadness, customer at work told me I absolutely had to watch this video...definitely interesting.



But even more so...check out her cd. "Born to Die"  she has a hauntingly beautiful voice and I love it.  If I had to pick a favorite track, it'd be either "This is What makes us girls" or "Video Games"

Well theres the music update for the night....

Stay Caffeinated Folks

Sunday, August 12, 2012

My First PrePoo!!!!

I've been tinkering with delving into natural hair care products for a few weeks and finally decided to take a leap and try making the switch.

Continue with my delve into Naturalista Heaven after the jump!


Saturday, August 11, 2012

Cava Mezze Grill 14th Street Review



So first...oh wow Cava has a restaurant!  *And upon google they have several*

Cava Mezze Grill, is a Chipotle/Roti style eatery, where you select what your eating and then pick the toppings, meat etc.  See the menu here:  MENU

So I stopped in on my way to the park to get some work done and just wanted a little bite sized something to take with me, so when I saw the minis on the board I was elated. And they didn't disappoint.  For each mini you get(in this case anyway) Your choice of spread, and 1 falafel ball per mini and your toppings!  Not a bad deal for around 8 bucks with a drink...roughly the same as Chipotle.

But of course theres a few draw backs....the minis don't travel quite well.  Still tasty but all the toppings(that were thrown in the box carelessly to start) had shifted mostly off to the side of the box.  But see the parenthesis for why that could have been.

Spreads:  I tried the hummus, tzatziki,  and crazy feta.  The tzatziki as always was delicious!  Its one of my favorite items of theirs to buy from the store and even more delicious on the pita mini.  Then we come to the "crazy feta"...YUM! feta mixed with jalapeno spiciness.  It was absolutely delicious, but I'd avoid if you don't like spicy things cause it does pack a bit of a punch.  And lastly I had the traditional hummus, sad to say it was a bit of a let down flavor wise.  Just seemed to be missing something-good but would really like it if i could mix it with perhaps the crazy feta.

Of course I'm definitely giving them another taste.  It was pretty good falafel...chickpeas a little chunkier than I prefer but the chicken looked amazing.


All in all, my meal was about 730 calories so a little heavier than a veggie bowl at Chipotle(yes that's my comparison chart) But wondering if its a "better" set of calories.  





Mission No Takeout

So here it is folks the official announcement of 'Mission NO TAKEOUT'  

My pledge to myself to stop filling my body with craptastic foods.  And be more aware of the yumminess that is my own cooking, and whats going into my cooking.  I'm on day 6...lifestyle movement so there probably isnt an end date to this.


But with any mission...There are some rules
  1. Absolutely NO Mcdonalds....not even sweet tea-diabetes much?
  2. NO Burger King / Wendy's
  3. Once a week I get one "cheat" day...meaning chipotle, sushi, cava, roti...something along those lines
  4. Limit fat sauces in home cooking

For now those are the only rules I've gotten....so far so good..had to take my cheat day today to get some work done, but as long as its along the lines of healthy takeout then I'll excuse it.  I mean if there's a salad delivery place with non 800 calorie salads please let me know and they'll be on the excused list asap!

For now though
Stay caffeinated folks!!!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Wondering Thoughts

As seasons change and relationships formed in the spring that bloomed in the summer begin to grow, I look back and wonder....what if...

Its funny I always say not to ask what if, the answer is clearly not better than the current situation cause well...if what if had been what was meant to be it would have been.  But still...what if...would I have this crazy confusing new old person...probably not and thats not a good outcome.  This happy...nope wasn't being motivated or pushed in a positive way.

So lesson one million and forty seven for 2012...don't look back

Move forward. break down doors, break down walls.

Hell break down the "structure".

So with that said...I'm breaking down some walls and takin some giant leaps....

Staying caffeinated daily and getting healthy for the 2nd half of life.  Wow 26 is almost upon me....where does time fly?



Cant sleep
Mind racing
Words forming

Love
Envy
Hope
Dreams

Cant sleep
Mind racing
Wonders never cease

Tears
Smiles
More tears

Cant sleep
Mind racing
Fluttering eyelids

Blink
Open
Repeat

Cant sleep
Mind racing
Need an off button

Breath
Droop
Breath

Cant sleep
Mind racing
Cant sleep
c…a…n…t……………………………*snore*





Dec 2011




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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Ah Family Guy

Oh men...source of my amusement


A little late night funny.

Stay Caffeinated folks...maybe not right now but in general :):)

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Pledge to Healthy

So I don't like the word diet...its got a lot of evil shadows floating over it.  Magic "diet" solutions run rampant through the drugstores but they don't really do anything...except stimulate your insides...and in most cases over stimulate.

So I'm not calling it a diet more a pledge to healthy.  I've kind of already been doing it but I'm giving myself an extra push by making it public.  So here's the big part!  NO TAKEOUT**!  Now I have to add in an * or two here.  I'm not including sushi in the takeout concept; one I don't have it often; two I love sushi.  Depriving yourself of everything delicious makes you cheat on your new lifestyle more than anything.

Morning Cup



Morning cup
Sweet cream swirls
In the dark depths
Caramel colored liquid
Bold
                        Strong
                                                Delicious
Just a touch of cinnamon
Sprinkled on top
White milky froth
Creamy
                        Smooth
                                                Devine
Chocolate drops
Mixed in
Smooth thick cocoa
Sweet
                        Hot
                                                Desired
Mix them all together
A bold flavor
With a hint of cream and cinnamon
Chocolate drops on top of it all
Sexual
                        Needed
                                                Dreamworthy
My favorite cup
Perfectly created just for me
Mmmm
Mmm
Mmmm
I think I’ll have another drink


December 2011

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Mask


We talk
And laugh
Joke around
Avoid the elephant
floating in the room
Its not but it is
But its not but it could be
But it won't be
Questions 
With no answers
Experiments
Never tried
How the past
Shields us from
taking a leap again
Can it be more
Can it be less
Can it just be
With no definitions but
Explanations
Wanting to tell you
To just leap and yell
Shout let my heart sing
But instead I hide for fear
Rejection

Not what I want to feel 
So I embrace the shadows 
Of my emotions 
And wear a mask 
As we chill 
......................Wonder if you ever notice

Friday, August 3, 2012

Walked Into A Shop


I Walked into a shop....
I walked into a shop today
And asked them to take my scars
Bury them deep beneath
Layers of colors
Lines of ink
They sat me down
In the artists chair
And asked me simply
To breathe
They rubbed my scars
And Soothed my nerves
 Passed a tissue
And sketched
And reminded me simply
To breathe
The pattern was laid across
Covering over
The bad memories
The hard times
Those the scars represented
Needle to skin
Remember simply
To breathe
Needle to skin
Remember simply
To breathe
Breathe
Breathe
As the artist puts on
The finishing touches
Detailing each corner
Each line
I’m passed a tissue
Remember simply
To breathe
As I walk out the door
My scars no longer visible
Now I have a flower
To look upon in my darkest hour
And remember simply
To breathe

~~~~December 9th 2011